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July 29th, 2004


09:12 pm - help me out of this ......
dont u hate it when you cant help those that you love.... when things are so bad but all you can do is sit there and watch them go thru misery... well its the worst feeling. i hate not being able to help. well i guess life goes on...




on another note...
i was thinking about my grey cat sweater... just brought back memories of the past... a day like this a couple years back... things were perfect... i loved you... i worked.. u played... you left one sunny day to the fair... little did i know that .. that would be the end of us. u left that day with a smile on your face and the thoughts of us just breaking apart. you went to the fair with her... it was the day that you decided that we would never be again.. its the day that you decided to cheat on me... thanks.. i hope your happy. i hope shes happy... also thank you for tainting my car with your infidelities...

thank you...


ive just been blah.. i need friends to hang out with.. leave me messages. lol or check me out on myspace.com
Current Mood: confusedconfused
Current Music: dashboard

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July 21st, 2004


11:30 pm - broke as a mofo
im so poor you guys!! this is so pathetic.... i had to take mr. piggy bank to the coinstar... and the coinstar didnt even want my money.. it just laughed in mr.piggybanks face. =\ i wanna get a haircut... short hair possibly... but im so broke... so ill be glad to take any donations for a haircut. haha



to donate to the cut hair fund IM onebrknhrt13...

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11:58 am - *sigh*

Just wanted to let everyone know... that i have the best boyfriend ever! i love him to pieced no matter what!

its been a rough month ... and i just wanted to say im sorry for everything... and i know that your the one i want to be with.....

i love my boyfriend to pieces!!!!

i love you baby.

 

 


Current Mood: giddygiddy
Current Music: 311 love song

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12:11 am - warning... do not date me
this is to anyone that ive hurt ...present or past

im sorry for being the way i am.... im sorry for thinking bad of myself... im sorry for loving you too much... im sorry for being jealous... im sorry for being a hypocrite... im sorry...im sorry im not the person you wanted me to be... im sorry for dissapointing you all those times.. im sorry for anything that ive done or said to you to hurt you.. i didnt mean it.. its just things i say.. i didnt nor do i deserve you... im not perfect... nor will i be even close...
dont date me... im a bad gf...

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July 20th, 2004


11:31 pm - saying goodbyes....
thanks for all the moments that we had...
thanks for making me feel like you do..
thanks for being you....
thanks for the most amazing night of my life...
ill never forget...
all the little things...
you arent right though..
you should know better...
you could of had me... but just took me for granted..
now its too late
i thought that you still had me..
i was wrong... the feelings gone away
the memories are fading....
with our bands is the only things that will remind us of each other..
you'll go out in the world and find better.
i hope that no matter what... your happy
its been so hard to let go..
thanks for showing me how much i love him..
we loved each other once...
too bad that it was never at the same time..

thanks for everything...
things happen for a reason...
now its time to say our goodbyes...
it would of been a year in august..
im glad that i met you..
you made me realize theres better out there...
ill always have a place for you..
i hope youll understand...
i love him not you..

thanks for everything...
now its time to say goodbye....
Current Mood: lonelylonely
Current Music: coldplay....

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July 18th, 2004


08:59 pm - fashion.....
well its going to be monday again.. there went the weekend.. so fast. .. work week again. arg=\
so i was on myspace over the weekend and i found some old high school peoples pages.. and just weird to see where they were and what they were up to.. most still in the area... others married... just getting on with their lives.. just seeing everyone made me a little depressed. i dunno.
i always seem to wish that i had someone elses life.. i dunno. dumb of me to think i supose.

the nights in this house get so lonely at times.. the fact that your not here.. it gets to me so..
i wish i was you.. i wish i had your life.. i wish i had your clothes.. i wish i was beautiful lke you.. i wish that you would like me... i wish i had what you have.. i wish i could like myself.. i wish i was happy all the time...


i just wish i wasnt here
Current Mood: melancholymelancholy
Current Music: paloalto breathe in

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July 13th, 2004


08:50 pm - randomless thoughts..only i get..
breathe in.
the air outside
filled with nothing but lies.

im slipping inbetween your dreams...
i gotta get out.. let me go...
you dont want to be here in the future..
im afraid to find out that your alone...

.... im sleeping in your living room with all the thoughts of you
if i hurt you then im sorry....
we both know what its like to be alone


all i could do was touch you..
it hurts me to think about you
drinking never got us anywhere..

wishing that i could have you alone
in my car and while we listen to jimmy eat world


i dont know where we are going.. im lost im dunno. ....

nothing....

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July 10th, 2004


11:45 pm - all thats left are memories....
*coldplay*


...sigh...
Current Mood: melancholymelancholy
Current Music: a rush of blood to your head- coldplay

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July 8th, 2004


10:19 pm - this feeling....
this feeling that just wont leave me alone.... get out of my head... get out of my life... its too late.. i hate you now.... u love me now... its too late... its not right... why must you haunt my thoughts.. my fears... my dreams... just get out. leave me alone. your selfish... stop... no more. im sick of it. im happy now. we could of been. you choose not to. just leave. turn away. walk away from this shattered heart. i hope yours hurts as much as mine did. im happy now. i hope you'll be miserable.... i hope that you realize what you could of had and stab yourself in the heart.. ill pick it up and stick needles thru it for every moment that we had.



.... im happy now
Current Mood: sicksick
Current Music: ... haha coldplay

 

June 24th, 2004


11:28 pm - (just to let you know)
just to let the two people that read my journal... the thoughts that i share in my journal arent specifeclly meant to describe something thats happened. its just to let my mind free itself of that the clutter up there so readers.... dont take anything personal! its just writings!

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